What The Crap! Sasuke You're
by xFullMetalxAlchemistxNarukox
Summary: Sasuke Uchiha thought he could never do cute,until one day Naruko makes him try a new elixir she made. Now Sasuke's turned into every fangirl's dream of cute. But he wants to be normal again...or maybe not. Rated T for safety! NaruSasu ON HOLD
1. Don't Take Drinks From Strangers Sasuke

What the Crap?! Sasuke You're...

Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto! If I did...Sasuke would be bi...Oh wait he already is! XD Um...Minato-san would still be alive

Comments:No duh...Oh well,Naruko strikes again! She in this one but NOT related to Naruto! Oh and Shikamaru is in this one too! :cuddles Shika:

Anime:Naruto,and references to Pokemon! (It's like Lucky Star with ninja and crackish stuff)

Main (or mostly seen) Characters:Naruto,Sasuke,Naruko,Shikamaru (Teh WOOT!),Sakura (A fanfic wouldn't be a fanfic without her), and Tsunade

Couples:Implied NaruSasu turning into NaruSasu...

Warning:Mild cursing (from Sasuke mostly,who else?),alcohol reference,shonen-ai hints,1 yaoi fangirl and Sas-uke jokes. OCCness to the EXTREME!! XD

Rated: T for the cursing.

Set In:Pre Time Skip (cuz TS Sasuke would effin kill me for this)

Summery:Sasuke Uchiha thought he could never do cute,until one day Naruko makes him try a new elixir she made. Now Sasuke's turned into every fangirl's dream of cute. But he wants to be normal again...or maybe not. XD

A/N:This is kinda the challenge yaoi-luva333 gave with a twist! He's not a cat-like person but he's...

Chapter 1:Don't Take Drinks From Strangers Sasuke...

"I can't believe I trusted you..."

"Aw! Don't get your duck-butt hair in a knot Suke! I promise only one elixir then you'll be free for the day!"

Sasuke couldn't believe what he gotten himself into. When Naruko said she found a way to defeat Itachi,he didn't hesitated to come over her house...alone. Okay,_now_ that seemed suspicious...normally,if it was a prank,her partner-in-crime Naruto would be here. And when he not here,that means...

"Are you gonna try it or not Sasuke?"

She wanted him to be her little taste tester for her experiments. '_Great how could I not see that coming?_' he thought to himself. '_But who can pass up a Naruko-free day?_' He sighed,knowing regardless,she'll pester him to death (or to the brink of insanity) if he didn't.

"Alright..."

"Aw Sasu-chan! I knew you'll see it my way!" She said as she handed him the bottle.

"Don't call me Sasu-chan..." Sasuke replied as he snacthed it from her hand. He drank it quickly...just to get it over with then...he heard a poof!

"Hi Naruko,have you seen Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked as she walked in her house. As she look up from wiping her feet...she saw "Oh...my...GOSH!!"

As the smoke cleared...

"What is it? Don't tell me it's another one of "those" elixirs?" Sasuke asked while he walked to a nearby mirror.

and Sasuke saw himself in the mirror...

"What the hell?!"

Naruko's elixer turned Sasuke into a Pikachu...

(A/N:No people not an actually Pikachu. He looked like his normal self except for the Pika ears coming from his head and a cute little tail from his...dare I say it? BUTT!! There I said it! This was supposed to be it but it's too short! So we shall continue!)

"What the hell,Naruko?! What did you do to me?!" Sasuke asked/screamed. Of course when Pikas are angry...little sparks come from their cheeks...not the pissed off Pika-Sasuke,no it comes from somewhere else...and it's not called "Thunderbolt" either!

"Chidori!!"

"EEK!" Naruko squealed as dodged the uber-kawaii Uchiha from sending her into the hospital. "Sas-_uke_...you can't kill me now!"

"Give me one good reason not to..." Sasuke demanded.

"Cause if you do...you'll gonna be stuck like that forever!" She paused awhile,then added as an afterthought. "And that mean no more bondage smex--"

"Urusai baka!!" Sasuke finally calmed down. Sakura poked her head from behind the couch she was hiding behind. Figuring it was safe now she came from behind the couch.

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

"Huh? Yes Sakura?" (A/N:Ha! Sasuke is polite to Sakura! Hahaha all you Anti-Sakura fans!! O.O; Sorry!)

"We have training with Kakashi-sensei today..um...Naruto wanted me to remind you!" Sakura ran out the door and closed it behind her.

Sasuke gave the best death glare he could at Naruko (The best one he can figuring he's the neko version of most cutest Pokemon in Japan). Naruko laughed at him so hard she tripped on a empty bottle. Although she fell,she was _still_ laughing.

And that pissed Sasuke off badly...

"Shut up you idiot!!" he demanded,sparks flying over pale cheeks. "How do I change back?!"

"I..don't...know..." Naruko quickly put her hands over her mouth. One more giggle and she'll be figuring how to get a kunai knife from her ass.

"I can't go out there like this! Naruto would--"

"When did you care about what Naruto thinks,Sasuke-chan?"

"I told you,quit calling me Sasuke-chan!"

"No you said--"

"Oi! Naruko-chan! Have you seen Sasuke-teme anywhere?" An all too familiar voice said.

"Oh shit..." Sasuke mumbled.

"We're over here Naruto-san!!" Naruko cried.

"My life is ruined..."

Naruto walked into the spare bedroom/Naruko's tinkering room. When he walked in,his mouth dropped.

"Sasuke...you're..."

To Be Continued! (Cuz I'm evil like that!)

Sasuke:Yes you are!

Me:Eep! My dear Sasuke-kun,how can you say something like that?

Sasuke: :sweatdrops: "My dear Sasuke-kun"? What kind of crap is that?!

Me:You don't get it...See ya next time!!

Sasuke:bye.


	2. Where in the World Is Naruko Uchimaki?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! -sobs- It's so sad!!

A/N:WOOT!! Too much music inspired me to do this!! Also I spent 5 whole hours with Satori-chan talking about the crack couples SasuKona and NaruKona! XD OMG That would be a good story to write!

Konata:Go for it! X3

Naruko:Thanks!!

Konata:No prob!

Sasuke:They're two peas in a pod

Naruto:Yep. They're so much alike...it's scary!

Naruko:Oi! Sasuke and Naruto! Introduce the story for me

Sasuke:I'll do it... :reads from script: Okay here's the new chapter! On with the story!

Naruto: O.O; You did that _too_ well Sasuke.

Sasuke:No duh! I hang around you two too much! Now on with the story.

Chapter 2:Where in the World is Naruko Uchimaki?!

"Sasuke...you're..."

"Go ahead...laugh your ass off"

A moment of silence occured...except the quick giggles heard from Naruko every now and then. Yeah,she will need to shut up fast before she have to learn how to pull 2 kunai knifes from her ass.

"Sasuke...you're...cute!!" Naruto said. Naruko had a nosebleed and hit the ground,Sasuke looked at Naruto still not understanding what he said.

"Thank you...wait WHAT?!" Sasuke screamed. No it wasn't a Sasuke-type angry scream,no dear fans...this is the girly Oh-my-gosh-a-pervert-is-watching-me type scream.

"Oh my GOSH Sasuke! You have some vocal cords!" Naruko said (the best she could) between giggles. Okay,she didn't care now...she don't care how Sasuke will kill her after this...OOC Sasuke was rare! Yep she should soooo win an award for this.

"Shut up Naruko!!" Sasuke said. His pika ears twitched. Which made Naruko laugh even harder...which made Sasuke more madder...and Naruto was watching this like it was a movie or something.

"Okay! I promised you a free day so I'm going somewhere! Bye PikaSasu!!" She annouced as she ran out the door.

"I hate her with the burning passion of my heart..."

"Sasuke-teme! Did you forget we have training today?" Naruto said patting Sasuke on the back.

"No I didn't..."

"Man Sasuke...even when you're a cute fluffy neko you're still an ass,you know that?"

"Quit saying I'm cute!! I don't do cute!!" Sasuke snapped at his friend/rival/love interest (A/N:LOL!! XD I wanted to add that...forgive me!)

"Well,now you don't have a choice!" Naruto grabbed Sasuke collar and drag him towards the door. "C'mon teme don't pout about it."

Too bad Naruto...he already is pouting.

Now all eyes were on Sasuke at Konoha Square...not because he was being dragged against his will by his best friend...oh no...Naruto did this before...no three times actually,so eveyone didn't find that strange. No it was the fact that Sasuke,the last Uchiha,the child prodigy, was a cute looking Pika-neko and was pouting like a little child (because he _was_ a neko after all!). Sasuke mumbled personal death threats to all the people that looked at him,but one well thought-out one to Naruko,the girl who caused him to become this-this...thing! He glared at Naruto, '_Hn...that dobe's actually humming...I think he enjoys see me suffer_' he thought. Naruto turned his head to face Sasuke's,which made Sasuke blush,for reasons unknown...I mean,he wasn't in control of his horomones!

"I don't enjoy seeing you suffer..."

"Huh?" Was Naruto a fucking mind-reader or something? There's no way he could have read his thoughts.

"I said...I don't enjoy seeing you suffer! Clean the crud out of you ears Sasuke!"

Sasuke scoffed at him and turn his head around.(1) Naruto smirked.

"I won..."

"Urusai dobe! Just cause I'm like this doesn't mean I can't beat your ass."

"Okay Sasuke-sama,your wish is my command!" Naruto chuckled to himself.

Naruto did a personal victory dance in his head. Beating Sasuke never felt so good! This was the best day of his life.

But it was the worst day of Sasuke's life. And for him,it was gonna get worse...

They finally reached the old training grounds with...Oh my gosh! Kakashi is actually on time! Oh yeah,and Sakura was there also...and being quiet.

"Is the world going backwards or something?!"

"Hello Naruto and Sasuke...How are you?" Kakashi asked politely.

Sasuke stared...not glared.._STARED_...at their sensei. He couldn't believe Kakashi was acting...so...nice. Did Naruko's elixir give off toxic waves or something?

"H-hello Kakashi-sensei...Everything alright?" Naruto asked.

"Haha! You fell for it!!" Kakashi said. Then smoke appeared where Kakashi and Sakura stood. Well,technically it wasn't Kakashi OR Sakura. They did a transformation jutsu to change into one another. (A/N:So Sakura was Kakashi and Kakashi was Sakura! Okay? Now get it? I know I'm confusing sometimes!)

"You two need to learn to look 'underneath to underneath' " the real Kakashi said.

"But sensei...you look underneath someone everyday." Sasuke said playfully. (A/N:Cookies for anyone who gets who Sasuke was talking about! XD)

"Urusai...Now,the reason we're here is because...I decided to cancel training today"

"What the...Why in the hell would you tell us to come here if training was canceled?" Sasuke complained.

"Because...I wanted to see if it was true about Naruko's elixir...Dismissed" And with that,Kakashi poofed away.

"Yeah...he better poof away..."

"Oi! Sasuke-kun! I can help you with your problem." Sakura announced.

"Really?! Thank you Sakura! I love you!" Sasuke said as he hugged Sakura.

"Um..."

"Oh...um...sorry!" he said as he pushed himself off of her. (A/N:LOL!! I love doing that to Sasuke! but really! OOC Sasuke _is_ rare!)

"It's okay...(I liked it...)(2)" Sakura said. "Tsunade has a _big_ book of elixers and antidotes! She should know what Naruko put in it! And who knows...she might make an antidote!"

"Good idea...one problem though."

"What is it Sasuke-kun?"

"I'm not doing it!!"

"Why not Sasuke? You're not afraid of baachan?" Naruto teased.

"No! I'm not afraid! She's gonna laugh at me like...well...everyone else did..." Sasuke said.

"Kakashi-sensei didn't laugh!"

"Well actually...He did laugh when Naruko told us." Sakura added meekly.

"That's it! I'm not going!" Sasuke announced.

"You're going and that's final!!" Naruto commanded. And with that...he dragged Sasuke to the Hokage tower.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Oh my gosh!! It's actually true!! So that brat wasn't lying!!" Tsunade said (again..the best she could) between giggles. (more like laughs XD)

"What I tell you?" Sasuke whined.

"Heh..I didn't know you were right!" Naruto said.

"Okay...so after I laughed for a couple of hours,I had the liberty of looking up the elixir Naruko made."

"And?!"

"Well...it seems there was an antidote...but...Naruko took the page."

"That--"

"Woah Sasuke! Calm down! So baachan,all we have to do is find Naruko and convince her to fix us the antidote?" Naruto asked.

"Yeah...but it wont be easy though..."

"I know. So where is she?"

"I dunno! She's not my kid! Ask Shikamaru...she said something about him..."

"Thanks baachan! Sasuke,what do you say?"

"Fuck you..." Sasuke said with a smirk on his face.

At that moment,Naruto ran out with Sasuke (holding his hand of course! I would be evil if I didn't put that in! :D) as quickly as he could. Knowing that if he didn't...Sasuke wouldn't be smirking for long...

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

Shikamaru was resting peacefully in his house. He didn't expect a loud knocking at his door though ;D. He dragged his feet to the door...but the person was impatient and kept knocking. He muttered something about how he hated not putting a soundproof door or something like that. He opened the door and he saw something he would never see again...

Naruto was carrying neko Sasuke bridal-style while he was pouting like a spoiled child.

Yeah,he _really_ needed to stop drinking sake before bed...

"Shikamaru! I need some help!"

"Yeah,we all know that..."

"No! I need help finding Naruko!"

"Man...this is troublesome...c'mon,and bring your wife in too..." Shikamaru said while invited them to come in. A blush spread across Naruto's _and_ Sasuke's face. Then Naruto carried Sasuke inside.

Inside,Shikamaru was in the kitchen preparing some tea. His house was cozy,and it was big but it wasn't as big as Sasuke's house. It's like Naruto's house but with an upstairs. Then Shikamaru joined Naruto and Sasuke in the living room and handed them some tea.

"So,what did you want to know about Naruko?" Shikamaru asked after he drank his tea (more like chugged it down ;3)

"Have you seen her today?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah,I have. She told me what happened so,what can I do? I don't know what she put in it..."

"No shit,of course you don't. Do you know where she _went_?"

"Hm...She said she was gonna visit Neji and Hinata...that's it."

"Oh shit..."

"What is it Sasuke?" Naruto asked. '_He looks kinda cute when he's cursing like that_' He shook his head at that thought while the Kyuubi agreed. XD

Sasuke gave off a cute confused look at his friend. Then he turn away from Naruto. "Let's just say...me and Neji don't get along that well."

When Sasuke turned back,Naruto was less than a millimeter away from his face. Sasuke felt his face heating up (in other words...he was blushing _really_ hard),Naruto smirked and put his hands on the Pika's back. (A/N:You don't know how much I wanted to say butt...)

"You _do_ want to change back,do you teme?" Naruto teased,obviously enjoying this moment.

"Get off of me dobe!" Sasuke demanded.

"Can you two do it somewhere else? Like...I don't know...somewhere I'm not around?!" Shikamaru interrupted.

"Sorry Shikamaru..."

So they both left from Shikamaru's house,which personally made him happy. Thay headed on to Neji's house,hoping to finally settle things once and for all!

(1)That's Sasuke little way of saying "I can't think of anything so you win."

(2)That was the inner Sakura! X3

To be continued! :3

Naruko:So Konata,how'd you like it?

Konata:Cool! What's Neji gonna do?

Naruko:He's :whispers in her ear:

Konata:Oh! So cool!

Sasuke:Why can't I know too?

Naruko:Cause,my dear Sasuke-kun,you might tell Naru-chan and he's gonna tell everyone

Sasuke:You _really_ gotta stop that...

Naruko:All right! See ya next time!!

Konata&Sasuke:Bye!


	3. 3 ways to Tick a PikaSasuke Off!

Disclaimer:I don't own Naruto...Tis is sad!

A/N:Sorry for the late update! I got inspired by music...again...XD

Sasuke:Wow...you suck at these things,ne?

Naruko: :glares: Why must you be so mean?

Sasuke:I was _always_ like this...

Naruko: :mutters: Not in bed...

Sasuke:Shut up idiot...

Naruko: :wraps her arms around Sasuke: Okay we are on with the story!!

Chapter 3:Three Ways To Tick a Pika-Sasuke Off (Thank you Satori for the idea! ;D)

Over at the Hyuuga complex,Hinata and Neji was sparring again. All and all a very normal day,or until they heard a knock at their door. How a knock could be heard _all the way_ from the door to the garden was a mystery. But Neji knows when a knock _is_ that loud,Naruto was at the door. Hinata wasn't that wise as Neji at that fact,and always find it as a "surprise" when Naruto comes over. Neji casually strolled over to the door (When in the hell did Neji start strolling _anywhere_?! XD) and he saw a sight he never saw before (and will never see again)...

Sasuke,the prideful Uchiha,was...an adorable Pika neko?!

The normally cool-as-a-cucumber Neji broke into a fit of laughter as he finally took in what he saw before him. Sasuke mentally gave him the finger as he gave the best death glare he could at the long haired Hyuuga. Naruto was in awe because he never saw Neji laugh so hard. And Hinata...was still in the garden until she heard a 'THUD' at the front door.

'_Oh no! Naruto-kun's hurt! I got to see what's wrong!_' Hinata thought as she ran to the door. She paused in her tracks taking in the sight before her.

Her cousin was on the flooring rolling around in a laughing fit,Naruto was looking at Neji like he was a alien,and Sasuke...was a Pikachu?!

"Na-Naruto-kun?" she said,not letting her voice come above a whisper.

"Oh Hinata-chan! Can you help me with a 'problem' please?" Naruto asked happily.

THUD

"Dobe...that sounded wrong on _so_ many levels..." Sasuke commented

"Huh? How's that Sasuke-teme?" the dense Naruto asked.

"Do you _really_ want me to explain?"

O.O; "N-n-no! Nevermind I get it!"

"So...what do you need from us Naruto?" Neji said (after having that laughing fit XD)

"Um...we need to know where Naruko is." _No duh...Why would I risk my life coming here with Sasuke?!_

"So she's the mastermind behind this. Remind me to thank her later for the good laugh."

Sasuke was having evil thoughts about Neji's death (who knew a Pika could be so evil?) which Naruto noticed. He waved his hands signaling "Shut up before he murders you!!" then he rubbed Sasuke to try and calm him down...And so far,it was working.

"Okay..." Neji helped his cousin up,who was still kinda dazed. Naruto followed holding Sasuke's hand. He heard Sasuke complaining about something. He sighed as he ignored it and followed the two Hyuugas to the garden. When they got there,Sasuke stared in awe trying to make a mental note on _ how damn big it is!!_ He rarely (Which meant he came over once..but that was on accident trying to find Naruto) came here. Naruto looked at Sasuke and smiled. He never seen Sasuke with such a beautiful look on his face. Naruto shooked his head at that thought, '_Sasuke doesn't like me..._' Naruto face saddend at the thought...

"Oi,Naruto! Snap out of it!" Sasuke commanded as he placed his hand on his cheek.

"Oh...sorry Sasuke!! Heh..." Naruto was in shock (but only a little bit) by Sasuke's tone. Was that worry in his voice?

"Ahem? You two better have your lovers moment somewhere else. Hinata's here." a bored Neji said. A soon-to-be dead Neji...

Cause the look Sasuke was giving him hinted that he was going to tear him limb from limb...

"Okay...um...so did you see Naruko?" Naruto asked just to break the tension.

"Yes,we did."

"So...where is she?"

"I don't know. She said something about going over Ino's house? You just missed her too..."

"What the fuck?!" Sasuke sputtered out.

"Temper,Uchiha...she was here about an hour ago..."

"That was the time we was over Shikamaru's house..crafty bastard..."

"Sasuke-teme you really need control your anger..." Naruto said

"Hn."

"Okay! Thank you Neji and Hinata!"

Naruto and Sasuke ran out of their house. Neji just shook his head. '_Get a room you two lovebirds_' he thought to himself.

"Um..huh? What happen...to Naruto-kun?" Hinata asked. She wasn't paying any mind to what happenend. Which was good in a way...

"Naruto-kun left with his boyfriend..." Neji answered.

THUD!

"Hinata-san...you're too sensitive..."

Naruko:xD I love Hinata,I really do! I put yaoi fluff in there too! Don't worry people! Naru will be with Sasu soon!

Sasuke: Hn...

Naruko:Okay! Bye bee!!

Sasuke:Bye...


End file.
